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TOP 10 REASONS FARM TRUCKS ARE NEVER STOLEN:

#10 They have a range of about 20 miles before they overheat, breakdown or run out of gas.

#9 Only the owner knows how to operate the door to get in or out.

#8 It is difficult to drive fast with all the fence tools, grease rags, ropes, chains, syringes, buckets, boots and loose papers in the cab.

#7 It takes too long to start and the smoke coming up through the rusted-out floorboard clouds your vision.

#6 The Blue Heeler on the toolbox looks mean.

#5 They're too easy to spot. The description might go something like this: The driver's side door is red, the passenger side door is green, the right front fender is yellow, etc.

#4 The large round bale in the back makes it hard to see if you're being chased. You could use the mirrors if they weren't cracked and covered with duct tape.

#3 Top speed is only about 45 mph.

#2 Who wants a truck that needs a year's worth of maintenance, u-joints, $3,000 in body work, tail-lights and windshield.

#1 It is hard to commit a crime with everyone waving at you.

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This page was last updated Saturday April 28, 2007 .