J Thamesview Stock Farm Smile Page 2 J

A farmer and his wife went to a fair. The farmer was fascinated by the airplanes and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost.

"$10 for 3 minutes," replied the pilot.

"That's too much," said the farmer.

The pilot thought for a second and then said, "I'll make you a deal. If you and your wife ride for 3 minutes without uttering a sound, the ride will be free. But if you make a sound, you'll have to pay $10."

The farmer and his wife agreed and went for a wild ride. After they landed, the pilot said to the farmer, "I want to congratulate you for not making a sound. You are a brave man."

"Maybe so," said the farmer, "But I gotta tell ya, I almost screamed when my wife fell out."

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Rob and Sue's bull took sick and died, so they needed to go to the auction to buy a new one. Rob had to get the crops in and couldn't leave the farm, so Sue  took the bus  to the city to buy a bull. If she was successful, she would take the bus  back to the farm, then she and Rob  would go to town with the truck to pick up their newly purchased bull.

The bidding was furious at the livestock auction, and Sue  found herself bidding on the last remaining bull. It took everything she had but ten cents, but she was finally the successful bidder.

Unfortunately, the bus home was more than she had left. "Please, Mr. Conductor, couldn't you make an exception just once?" pleaded Sue. "My husband  will pay the fare when he picks me up at the bus depot."  "Sorry lady," he replied, "but you can send your husband a telegram to tell him your problem. The office is just down the street."

At the Telegraph office, Sue asked, "Mister, how many words can I send to my husband for a dime?" "It's ten cents a word," the clerk answered. Sue pondered her dilemma, then finally said, "OK, here's da message: "COMFORTABLE".

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A foreman sent out two groups of men to put up telephone poles along a new highway and asked them to report at the end of the day. The crews were gone all day and returned just as the sun was setting.

The foreman asked the leader of the first group how many poles they had installed. The reply was eleven.

The foreman patted the guy on the back and said, "Not bad." Then he went to the leader of the next group and asked him the same question. Two was the reply.

"Two! All you installed were two?! The other group installed eleven!" The foreman exclaimed angrily.

"Yeah," the leader answered, "But you should have seen how much they left sticking out!"

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The School of Agriculture's Dean of Admissions was interviewing a prospective student. "Why have you chosen this career?" he asked. "I dream of making a million dollars in  farming, like my father," the student replied. "Your father made a million dollars in  farming?" echoed the impressed dean. "No," replied the applicant. "But he always dreamed of it."

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This page was last updated Saturday April 28, 2007 .